Quarter Life Crisis: How I made sense of my brain

Welcome! If this is your first time here, I applaud you. Admitting to having or experiencing a Quarter Life Crisis is a difficult thing to do. This is my first blog post for my new website. The whole purpose of this blog post is to paint a picture of how I discovered my Quarter Life Crisis.  Keep in mind that this is my personal story, and I do not have tips and tricks to help you out of a Quarter Life Crisis until future post. I’m excited to share with you my story and my new mission as a Life Coach.

I can remembered like it was yesterday. It was my 26th birthday and I knew something wasn’t right. The signs were all over. Prior to my birthday, I was experiencing major panic attacks. I felt guilty for complaining so instead of understanding what was wrong, I drowned myself in reality TV and I bashed other people until I felt better, well temporarily. It wasn’t until the major of event of a birthday that I realized that my life wasn’t the way I wanted it. I was turning twenty-six and I had just moved clear across the country from the South to the East Coast, my family lived in California, and my boyfriend at the time and I  called it quits. It was crappy.  

I can remember everyone saying happy birthday to me at my job and I closed the door and I sobbed, I couldn’t believe how sad I was. I didn’t want anyone to see me like that. I looked like a wet dog.

            You’re probably thinking this must be a turning point to the story where Eugenie took the necessary steps for improvement. As they say in the South, “Child please!” You know what I did. I said, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and don’t talk about it. You’ve work so hard to get this career and this life. You are a type-A, ENTJ woman. ENTJ’s aren’t supposed to show emotion. Like a fool, trapped inside of a Quarter Life Crisis enigma, I stayed like that for another year. I was angry, anxious and lost in myself in my own self-destruction. I can remember quite vividly complaining about everyone: my boss, ex-boyfriends, and “privileged” people.  I conjured up a whole hypothesis during my Quarter Life Crisis…

I have just as many hours in a day as Beyonce, why couldn’t I have her successful life? I went to college, I should be making money by now.  

The complaints go on and on. I created my own post-traumatic stress, and it sucked. It wasn’t until I was edging up to my next birthday that I watched, clinical psychologist, Meg Jay's TED talk on your twenties. Jay argued for people in their 20 somethings, she explained that “contrary to popular belief, your 20s are not a throwaway decade.” I let that idea marinate for a bit…

I started thinking maybe I could work towards a better life, change my body, and take a break from dating, and actually figure out what the heck is going on. It wasn’t until I realized that all of the feelings, anxiety, and thoughts, where actually a sign of A Quarter Life Crisis. I spent a huge chunk of my time reading books on twenty somethings, thirty somethings, and even baby somethings. Seriously, I am obsessed with parenting books and child developmental psychology books. I digress… It wasn’t until I met the man of my life that made me turbo charge my Quarter Life Crisis mission…

The Man of My Dreams

          It was November of 2014, I was at the Bridgeport library, searching for books, and there he was sitting on the shelf. I saw that shiny book from a far. Giving me the eye. It was The 4 Hour Work Week, by Timothy Ferriss. I thought to myself ‘is love at first sight?’ I picked up the book and I slowly turned the pages. Mr. Ferriss started talking about how he overworked himself for 12 hours a day and he hit a turning point. He was working on Thanksgiving day and he realized something had to change. Did Mr. Ferriss had a Quarter Life Crisis? Uh yes! He was around the age of 26.

            This book made helped me realized that everyone goes through  traumatic experiences. Mr. Ferriss like so many others made the decision that was necessary to make a positive change. From then on I began my Quarter Life Crisis search...

I started drowning myself in stories about other people experiencing some sort of crisis.             

It wasn’t until I months later, I realized that it was a Quarter Life Crisis after reading a research paper by Alice Stapleton. It was from that point on that I wanted to make my life mission to understand people’s identities.  From that point on I started blogging, and telling my friends that I uncovered what was going on in my brain, this phenomenon called A Quarter Life Crisis. 

Making sense of my Brain

Your thoughts control your actions and your actions can affect your emotions.-  Brooke Costillo

Wait, What? I can actually change my emotions. I am in control of my body, even though I am experiencing A Quarter Life Crisis? The simple answer is Yes. During my Ferriss book infatuation, and my Quarter Life Crisis discovery I was learned a lot about myself. I really tried to understand my strengths and my weakness. Was everything great? Hecks No. I had experienced a death in my family, my doctor discovered two cysts in my thyroid, and my shopping habits were at an all-time high. So what had changed?

My thoughts had changed. I focused on the future not as some nebulous idea, but I tried to experience my future as if I had already lived a successful life.

Live as if your prayers had already been answered. – Tony Robbins

            That year was the most helpful to me, because I knew that what I was experiencing wasn’t just a Eugenie problem. It was a problem that effects people between the ages of 19-34.  Of course the simple answer is yes, but the real answer is it takes a lot of work. With any transition it takes a while for one to understand oneself.

Fast forward to 2015

            By the next year, I moved to Austin, Texas. I started working for a company and I worked with hundreds of people that were younger than me experiencing a Quarter Life Crisis. Some of them were coming to me for advice and asking me for ways to understand my life.  That’s when I had my a-ha moment at the Lewis Howes book signing.

Quarter Life Crisis

 

I asked him a question that he couldn’t answer. That's when my life coach journey began.

At that same event I met, two beautiful coaches, Transformational Coach, Jackie Vecchio, and Success Coach, Kimberly Rich, and clung on to them like red beans on rice.  I took a huge break from blogging, I traveled to London, to meet the one and only Alice Stapleton, and quit my job.

Thus…

The Quarter Design became a Life Coaching Business!

I used Tim Ferriss’ idea of Lifestyle design and all the research that I could find (which isn’t much) of A Quarter Life Crisis to start my business.

My Commitment to this Blog and You!      

     Conflict builds Character. Crisis Defines it .– Steven V Thulon

Every Crisis offers you extra desired power- Unknown               

            A Quarter Life Crisis is beautiful struggle, and often misunderstood. The purpose of this blog and my coaching services is to create an understanding behind the phenomena that is not new at all, but is a topic that really isn’t spoken about. The last book that was published about A Quarter Life Crisis was popularized was in 2002. There has been a recent book published in 2014, but the term is slowly fading away, or it becomes a topic of conversation. “Oh, I was definitely in a Quarter Life Crisis a year ago, but life is pretty good.”

My theory on the disappearance of the term a Quarter life crisis is the improvement of global economy. When the economy is going through crisis the term will be used.  In 2007, when the market was going through a shock or a crisis. People used the term crisis so much in 2007 and 2008, that even Recording artist, Jimmy Buffett, fun loving restaurant was going through a huge crisis. The term was overused. The media can often change what we say and how we discuss issues. Before you knew it the term crisis became a part of history fading away.

When an economy is doing well, everyone is changing their vernacular to what is recent in pop culture. Think about that for a second... That’s why everything now is a #gamechanger.

Another reason why the term is not talked about because the word crisis invokes emotion. Admitting that one is in a crisis is not often talked about invites the elephant in the room vulnerability.  If one admits to their crisis, there is an open door for ridicule and shame.  Shame advocate, Brené Brown explains that shame is “fear of ridicule and belittling used to manage people and/or to keep people in line.” Admitting to a crisis would invite room for comparison and often times disengagement. When individuals use the word Crisis is a taboo in itself.  When one admits that they are in crisis the typical feeling “creates a jolt of pain,” and can lead to a feeling of being overwhelmed.

The funny thing about the word crisis is a double edge sword of meaning, and it’s can be interpreted in a positive way. The actual definition for a crisis is "to a stage in a sequence of events at which the trend of all future events, especially for better or for worse, is determined; turning point."

Admitting that one is in a crisis is a turning point for sequence of events.  The first step to understanding a crisis is to accept it in order to overcome the event. Brene beautifully paints a picture of overcoming a situation in her book Daring Greatly.  She says that the word overcome means

To grow a relationship, or raise a family or create an organizational culture… is fundamentally opposite of culture norms driven by scarcity….The larger culture is always applying pressure, an unless we are willing to push back and fight for what we believe in, the default becomes a state of scarcity. We’re called to “dare greatly, every time we make choices that challenge the social climate of scarcity.

Here’s my theory. I think that if we truly understand who we are, what are gremlins are ( I’ll talk more about that later), and learn a new self-coaching model we can make some change. 

What does this mean?

If we truly understand who we are and instead of our selfie-self we can do a lot of good in the world.

I’m super excited about this journey! Like singer/songwriter, Rhianna says Here’s to the freakin’ weekend!

Let’s make some positive change! Hit me up for Life 30 minute coaching session.